100 Out of Context Quotes From 100 Episodes of the Mighty Nein

In celebration of the Mighty Nein’s triumphant return for Campaign 2, Episode 100, we’ve put together a list of 100 out of context quotes from 100 episodes of the Mighty Nein.

Okay, so the title is a slight lie. There may possibly be a few bonus quotes in here, because 100 quotes are not enough to capture the chaos, sentimentality, angst, and humor of these walking disasters, and deciding on only one per episode got really hard and who needs to adhere to their own made-up rules? Sorry, not sorry.

Although these quotes are out of context there may be some slight spoilers for the campaign based on both characters and content. Also, some of these quotes might hurt… You’ve been warned.

Campaign 2, Episode 1

Campaign 2, Episode 2

“Is that a natural thing for you guys to just attack each other in moments of stress?” – Fjord

Campaign 2, Episode 3

“I’m the cleric?! I’ve never traveled with a bunch of people I thought would die in front of me!” – Jester

Campaign 2, Episode 4

“Yeah. The world does need an asshole.” – Beau

Campaign 2, Episode 5

“Tell you what. I start sweating real hard, I’ll let you know, okay?” – Fjord

Campaign 2, Episode 6

“Well, my social anxiety is getting the best of me. I’m taking a walk. Goodbye.” – Caleb

Campaign 2, Episode 7

“I think that the bust of a tiny, curly-headed 120 year old woman needs to slam its way into the torso of that manticore.” – Shakäste

Campaign 2, Episode 8

Campaign 2, Episode 9

“What do they look like, these buttons?” – Yasha

Campaign 2, Episode 10

“I don’t normally speak with the dead on a first date, but we’ll think about it.” – Molly

Campaign 2, Episode 11

“What if we kill all of Pumat Sol and come back and rob this place.” – Nott

Campaign 2, Episode 12

“I’m always ready to make a damn fool of myself.” – Molly

Campaign 2, Episode 13

“It’s a collection of crazy tales about this weird fella.” – Pumat

Campaign 2, Episode 14

“I did my best every town I went to and every town I left, no matter how they treated me, and a lot of them treated me with deep disrespect… I left every town better than I found it.” – Molly

Campaign 2, Episode 15

“I mean, I don’t want to impose… But I’m bleeding profusely.” – Nott

Campaign 2, Episode 16

“What happens if you have a childhood, but it’s like barely a childhood ‘cause it was supposed to be someone else’s childhood, but it was you instead? Is that a childhood?” – Beau

Campaign 2, Episode 17

“Two shit throws in a row. It can’t get any fucking worse.” – Fjord

Campaign 2, Episode 18

Campaign 2, Episode 19

“Modern Literature!” – Nott

Campaign 2, Episode 20

“Welcome to the Mighty Nein!” – Kiri

Campaign 2, Episode 21

“Mr. Fjord, you’re very liberal with your parenting.” – Calianna

Campaign 2, Episode 22

“One thing that I have realized today is that I need to work on my interpersonal skills and friendship making. So try not to cut up my face, okay?” – Caleb

Campaign 2, Episode 23

“Hi, Mom! I got a new spell. I want to say thank you for the package you sent me. I know that it was really–” – Jester

Campaign 2, Episode 24

“You are blue.” – Caleb

Campaign 2, Episode 25

“I am Kiri.” – Kiri

Campaign 2, Episode 26

“An example, it is.” – Lorenzo

Campaign 2, Episode 27

“I’m trying to be nice. This is as painful for me as it is for you. Just give me five seconds.” – Keg

Campaign 2, Episode 28

“I could check my smell bag, but I trust you right now.” – Nila

Campaign 2, Episode 29

Campaign 2, Episode 30

“To the Tealeaf… Now to our new tealeaf.” – Beau

Campaign 2, Episode 31

“I think what his holiness is trying to convey is that he will be going on a spiritual journey, and there’s only room on that train for one dude!” – Nott

Campaign 2, Episode 32

“Look to purchase, Jester! Just look!” – Fjord

Campaign 2, Episode 33

“Hello Gentleman. This is Jester. Please respond. Just yes. If. You’ve. Seen. The Ruby. Please. Is that 20? Oh! Ah! Shit! Balls! Ah!” – Jester

Campaign 2, Episode 34

“That sounds like someone whose ass I would like to kick.” – Yasha

Campaign 2, Episode 35

“Professor Thaddeus! Hoo hoo! Professor Thaddeus!” – Beau

Campaign 2, Episode 36

Campaign 2, Episode 37

“It’s actually Captain Tusktooth, but –” – Fjord

Campaign 2, Episode 38

“This one time I saw a bug carrying a piece of bread that was like five times its size and he was carrying upstairs, like up and then he would turn, and then up, and then he would turn.” – Jester

Campaign 2, Episode 39

“Fluffernutter!!!” – Nott and Jester

Campaign 2, Episode 40

“Sleep well with your bad decisions.” – Caduceus

Campaign 2, Episode 41

“Sometimes boys like it if you are a little bit aloof, a little bit cold to them afterwards, like maybe they did something wrong, and they don’t even know what it was.” – Nott the Greatest at Advice

Campaign 2, Episode 42

“Well, as Honda, I would race to the apricot and seize it so that she can’t pick that fruit. Keep it for ourselves in our fruit basket, and make off and decide if we’re going to make marmalade later or not.” – Fjord

Campaign 2, Episode 43

“I… wait.” – Beau

Campaign 2, Episode 44

“Alright, let’s treat this situation with all the seriousness it demands.” – Caleb

Campaign 2, Episode 45

“I’m really really nice, but I don’t always make the best decisions…” – Twiggy

Campaign 2, Episode 46

Campaign 2, Episode 47

“What, you don’t want a unicorn pooping on his face?” -Fjord 

Bonus

Campaign 2, Episode 48

“Yes. It’s a chair. It’s a standard chair.” – Matthew Mercer

Campaign 2, Episode 49

There was no choosing between these two.

“Are you in love with me?” – Jester

10 MINUTES LATER

“Are you secretly in love with me?” – Jester

Campaign 2, Episode 50

“I win!” – Spurt

Campaign 2, Episode 51

Campaign 2, Episode 52

“Why is just my dick purple?” – Beau

Campaign 2, Episode 53

“Now, Jannik is number two cat. You are number one. You are in charge. You just… dress to impress, okay?” – Caleb

Campaign 2, Episode 54

“What happens when a moorbounder enters a feline beauty contest? It’s a cat-tastrophe!” – Nott

Campaign 2, Episode 55

“You’re not my type.” – Beau

Campaign 2, Episode 56

“I am of the Empire. But I am no friend to the Empire.” – Caleb

Campaign 2, Episode 57

“It’s still you though, right?” – Yeza

Campaign 2, Episode 58

“You don’t get to talk anymore.” – Fjord

Campaign 2, Episode 59

“It’s a regular fucking turtle.” – Caleb

Campaign 2, Episode 60

“Don’t let the irons be your strength.” – The Storm Lord

Campaign 2, Episode 61

“You pick and choose your fights. Me? Best not give in to a man I can crush with one hand.” – Wursh

Campaign 2, Episode 62

“There’s a dick hidden somewhere in there.” – Jester

Campaign 2, Episode 63

“Back up a little bit. So we met at like a circus. It was a crazy night. But after a while, yada yada–” – Nott

Campaign 2, Episode 64

“Man you made vulnerability look so easy.” – Beau

Campaign 2, Episode 65

“Well I’ve always learned that the best way to deal with your problems is to run away from them.” – Yasha

Campaign 2, Episode 66

“And I know that you lost your family, but we can be your new one and we love you very much, Yasha, no matter what happened. Okay?” – Jester

Campaign 2, Episode 67

“I guess in a way I’m an orphan maker too.” – Nott

Campaign 2, Episode 68

“I’m sorry. I was trying to do the thing. Like, I killed my family, I’ll throw you under a bridge.” – Yasha

Campaign 2, Episode 69

“I heard you.” – Yasha

Campaign 2, Episode 70

“I don’t mean to raise my voice.” – Caduceus

Campaign 2, Episode 71

“This is precisely the sort of attitude I’ve been saying everyone should be having. This is what I’ve been waiting for. This is great.” – Caduceus

Campaign 2, Episode 72

“You need me more than I need you.” – Fjord

Campaign 2, Episode 73

“You pooping?” – Jester

Campaign 2, Episode 74

“The rule is that evil dies.” – Reani

Campaign 2, Episode 75

Campaign 2, Episode 76

“Fucking seaweed wraps are the shit!” – Fjord

Campaign 2, Episode 77

“Oh shit, are we a cult?” – Jester

Campaign 2, Episode 78

“To Zadash!” – Nott

Campaign 2, Episode 79

“Hey everybody, don’t mean to intrude. Obviously, there’s a lot going on here, but we’re going to be sort of walking around for probably the next couple days and there’s some other people wandering through the swamp forest right now that are… they’re bad business. They’re probably going to do a lot of damage, possibly a fire, who knows? But we’re trying to take care of that. If there’s any ruins around, if you’ve seen any like tall man-made structures slowly collapsing anywhere around here, we’d really appreciate a helping hand and we’ll try our best to stay out of everybody’s way. Especially if there’s any birds, hey up there. If you’ve seen anything, we’d love to just get in and out with as little hassle as possible. Thanks, that’d be great.” – Caduceus

Campaign 2, Episode 80

“I’m Arcanist Allura Vysoren, Master of Arcana on the Council of Tal’Dorei.” – Arcanist Allura Vysoren, Master of Arcana on the Council of Tal’Dorei

Campaign 2, Episode 81

“You know the concept of gravity was first discovered by a Xhorhasian wizard known as Iz-aak Newton.” – Beau

Campaign 2, Episode 82

“But I would rather you put your faith in me for something more important than my curiosity. Let’s go the other way.” – Caleb

Campaign 2, Episode 83

“It’s better to have somebody’s word broken than to have no word at all.” – Caduceus

Campaign 2, Episode 84

Bonus

“We will trust you if you tell us who the members of the Tal’Dorei Council are.” – Fjord

Campaign 2, Episode 85

“I could be her beacon.” – Beau

Campaign 2, Episode 86

“Yes, I think we have a job to finish.” – Yasha

Campaign 2, Episode 87

“Can I get a hug?” – Caduceus

Campaign 2, Episode 88

“It’s entirely off-putting how disarmingly charming you are. I genuinely do not know how to react. Take that as a compliment.” – Martinet Ludinus Da’leth

Campaign 2, Episode 89

“Finish it, Champion.” – Yasha

Campaign 2, Episode 90

“Kill me.” – Sprinkle (Okay, it was actually Sam…)

Campaign 2, Episode 91

“I smell like a crayon.” – Yasha

Campaign 2, Episode 92

“Many fairy tales with an old crone in the woods.” – Caleb

Campaign 2, Episode 93

“Have you ever had a blueberry cupcake?” – Jester

Campaign 2, Episode 94

“Sto- Shut up Caleb! God fucking alright. Ignore the fucking undead, okay! Sorry, sorry.” – Beau

Campaign 2, Episode 95

“Nothing happens for a reason. It’s absolute fucking chaos.” – The Traveler

Campaign 2, Episode 96

“I’m asking you to open your heart to chaos.” – Jester

Campaign 2, Episode 97

“You were not born with venom in your veins.” – Caleb

Campaign 2, Episode 98

“Please. Please help me.” – Yasha

Bonus

Campaign 2, Episode 99

“Captain, we’re being followed by a tiny island.” – Caduceus

Campaign 2, Episode 100 – MAJOR SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 100

There you have it! 100+ out of context quotes to celebrate 100 episodes of adventuring with the Mighty Nein. Tune-in TONIGHT — Thursday, July 2nd at 7pm Pacific for Critical Role Campaign 2, Episode 100 on twitch.tv/criticalrole.

Share your own favorite Mighty Nein moments using the hashtag #MightyMemories on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.

Need to find a Critical Role quote or moment that’s been itching at the back of your brain? Critter Stuart Langridge (@sil) put together a website that makes episode transcripts searchable! It’s truly incredible and would have saved the writer of this article a lot of time had it come just the slightest bit sooner… Oh well — Check it out and find you favorite moments at https://kryogenix.org/crsearch.