100 Out of Context Quotes From 100 Episodes of the Mighty Nein
Written by Christina on July 2, 2020
In celebration of the Mighty Nein’s triumphant return for Campaign 2, Episode 100, we’ve put together a list of 100 out of context quotes from 100 episodes of the Mighty Nein.
Okay, so the title is a slight lie. There may possibly be a few bonus quotes in here, because 100 quotes are not enough to capture the chaos, sentimentality, angst, and humor of these walking disasters, and deciding on only one per episode got really hard and who needs to adhere to their own made-up rules? Sorry, not sorry.
Although these quotes are out of context there may be some slight spoilers for the campaign based on both characters and content. Also, some of these quotes might hurt… You’ve been warned.
Campaign 2, Episode 1
Campaign 2, Episode 2
“Is that a natural thing for you guys to just attack each other in moments of stress?” – Fjord
Campaign 2, Episode 3
“I’m the cleric?! I’ve never traveled with a bunch of people I thought would die in front of me!” – Jester
Campaign 2, Episode 4
“Yeah. The world does need an asshole.” – Beau
Campaign 2, Episode 5
“Tell you what. I start sweating real hard, I’ll let you know, okay?” – Fjord
Campaign 2, Episode 6
“Well, my social anxiety is getting the best of me. I’m taking a walk. Goodbye.” – Caleb
Campaign 2, Episode 7
“I think that the bust of a tiny, curly-headed 120 year old woman needs to slam its way into the torso of that manticore.” – Shakäste
Campaign 2, Episode 8
Campaign 2, Episode 9
“What do they look like, these buttons?” – Yasha
Campaign 2, Episode 10
“I don’t normally speak with the dead on a first date, but we’ll think about it.” – Molly
Campaign 2, Episode 11
“What if we kill all of Pumat Sol and come back and rob this place.” – Nott
Campaign 2, Episode 12
“I’m always ready to make a damn fool of myself.” – Molly
Campaign 2, Episode 13
“It’s a collection of crazy tales about this weird fella.” – Pumat
Campaign 2, Episode 14
“I did my best every town I went to and every town I left, no matter how they treated me, and a lot of them treated me with deep disrespect… I left every town better than I found it.” – Molly
Campaign 2, Episode 15
“I mean, I don’t want to impose… But I’m bleeding profusely.” – Nott
Campaign 2, Episode 16
“What happens if you have a childhood, but it’s like barely a childhood ‘cause it was supposed to be someone else’s childhood, but it was you instead? Is that a childhood?” – Beau
Campaign 2, Episode 17
“Two shit throws in a row. It can’t get any fucking worse.” – Fjord
Campaign 2, Episode 18
Campaign 2, Episode 19
“Modern Literature!” – Nott
Campaign 2, Episode 20
“Welcome to the Mighty Nein!” – Kiri
Campaign 2, Episode 21
“Mr. Fjord, you’re very liberal with your parenting.” – Calianna
Campaign 2, Episode 22
“One thing that I have realized today is that I need to work on my interpersonal skills and friendship making. So try not to cut up my face, okay?” – Caleb
Campaign 2, Episode 23
“Hi, Mom! I got a new spell. I want to say thank you for the package you sent me. I know that it was really–” – Jester
Campaign 2, Episode 24
“You are blue.” – Caleb
Campaign 2, Episode 25
“I am Kiri.” – Kiri
Campaign 2, Episode 26
“An example, it is.” – Lorenzo
Campaign 2, Episode 27
“I’m trying to be nice. This is as painful for me as it is for you. Just give me five seconds.” – Keg
Campaign 2, Episode 28
“I could check my smell bag, but I trust you right now.” – Nila
Campaign 2, Episode 29
Campaign 2, Episode 30
“To the Tealeaf… Now to our new tealeaf.” – Beau
Campaign 2, Episode 31
“I think what his holiness is trying to convey is that he will be going on a spiritual journey, and there’s only room on that train for one dude!” – Nott
Campaign 2, Episode 32
“Look to purchase, Jester! Just look!” – Fjord
Campaign 2, Episode 33
“Hello Gentleman. This is Jester. Please respond. Just yes. If. You’ve. Seen. The Ruby. Please. Is that 20? Oh! Ah! Shit! Balls! Ah!” – Jester
Campaign 2, Episode 34
“That sounds like someone whose ass I would like to kick.” – Yasha
Campaign 2, Episode 35
“Professor Thaddeus! Hoo hoo! Professor Thaddeus!” – Beau
Campaign 2, Episode 36
Campaign 2, Episode 37
“It’s actually Captain Tusktooth, but –” – Fjord
Campaign 2, Episode 38
“This one time I saw a bug carrying a piece of bread that was like five times its size and he was carrying upstairs, like up and then he would turn, and then up, and then he would turn.” – Jester
Campaign 2, Episode 39
“Fluffernutter!!!” – Nott and Jester
Campaign 2, Episode 40
“Sleep well with your bad decisions.” – Caduceus
Campaign 2, Episode 41
“Sometimes boys like it if you are a little bit aloof, a little bit cold to them afterwards, like maybe they did something wrong, and they don’t even know what it was.” – Nott the Greatest at Advice
Campaign 2, Episode 42
“Well, as Honda, I would race to the apricot and seize it so that she can’t pick that fruit. Keep it for ourselves in our fruit basket, and make off and decide if we’re going to make marmalade later or not.” – Fjord
Campaign 2, Episode 43
“I… wait.” – Beau
Campaign 2, Episode 44
“Alright, let’s treat this situation with all the seriousness it demands.” – Caleb
Campaign 2, Episode 45
“I’m really really nice, but I don’t always make the best decisions…” – Twiggy
Campaign 2, Episode 46
Campaign 2, Episode 47
“What, you don’t want a unicorn pooping on his face?” -Fjord
Bonus
Campaign 2, Episode 48
“Yes. It’s a chair. It’s a standard chair.” – Matthew Mercer
Campaign 2, Episode 49
There was no choosing between these two.
“Are you in love with me?” – Jester
10 MINUTES LATER
“Are you secretly in love with me?” – Jester
Campaign 2, Episode 50
“I win!” – Spurt
Campaign 2, Episode 51
Campaign 2, Episode 52
“Why is just my dick purple?” – Beau
Campaign 2, Episode 53
“Now, Jannik is number two cat. You are number one. You are in charge. You just… dress to impress, okay?” – Caleb
Campaign 2, Episode 54
“What happens when a moorbounder enters a feline beauty contest? It’s a cat-tastrophe!” – Nott
Campaign 2, Episode 55
“You’re not my type.” – Beau
Campaign 2, Episode 56
“I am of the Empire. But I am no friend to the Empire.” – Caleb
Campaign 2, Episode 57
“It’s still you though, right?” – Yeza
Campaign 2, Episode 58
“You don’t get to talk anymore.” – Fjord
Campaign 2, Episode 59
“It’s a regular fucking turtle.” – Caleb
Campaign 2, Episode 60
“Don’t let the irons be your strength.” – The Storm Lord
Campaign 2, Episode 61
“You pick and choose your fights. Me? Best not give in to a man I can crush with one hand.” – Wursh
Campaign 2, Episode 62
“There’s a dick hidden somewhere in there.” – Jester
Campaign 2, Episode 63
“Back up a little bit. So we met at like a circus. It was a crazy night. But after a while, yada yada–” – Nott
Campaign 2, Episode 64
“Man you made vulnerability look so easy.” – Beau
Campaign 2, Episode 65
“Well I’ve always learned that the best way to deal with your problems is to run away from them.” – Yasha
Campaign 2, Episode 66
“And I know that you lost your family, but we can be your new one and we love you very much, Yasha, no matter what happened. Okay?” – Jester
Campaign 2, Episode 67
“I guess in a way I’m an orphan maker too.” – Nott
Campaign 2, Episode 68
“I’m sorry. I was trying to do the thing. Like, I killed my family, I’ll throw you under a bridge.” – Yasha
Campaign 2, Episode 69
“I heard you.” – Yasha
Campaign 2, Episode 70
“I don’t mean to raise my voice.” – Caduceus
Campaign 2, Episode 71
“This is precisely the sort of attitude I’ve been saying everyone should be having. This is what I’ve been waiting for. This is great.” – Caduceus
Campaign 2, Episode 72
“You need me more than I need you.” – Fjord
Campaign 2, Episode 73
“You pooping?” – Jester
Campaign 2, Episode 74
“The rule is that evil dies.” – Reani
Campaign 2, Episode 75
Campaign 2, Episode 76
“Fucking seaweed wraps are the shit!” – Fjord
Campaign 2, Episode 77
“Oh shit, are we a cult?” – Jester
Campaign 2, Episode 78
“To Zadash!” – Nott
Campaign 2, Episode 79
“Hey everybody, don’t mean to intrude. Obviously, there’s a lot going on here, but we’re going to be sort of walking around for probably the next couple days and there’s some other people wandering through the swamp forest right now that are… they’re bad business. They’re probably going to do a lot of damage, possibly a fire, who knows? But we’re trying to take care of that. If there’s any ruins around, if you’ve seen any like tall man-made structures slowly collapsing anywhere around here, we’d really appreciate a helping hand and we’ll try our best to stay out of everybody’s way. Especially if there’s any birds, hey up there. If you’ve seen anything, we’d love to just get in and out with as little hassle as possible. Thanks, that’d be great.” – Caduceus
Campaign 2, Episode 80
“I’m Arcanist Allura Vysoren, Master of Arcana on the Council of Tal’Dorei.” – Arcanist Allura Vysoren, Master of Arcana on the Council of Tal’Dorei
Campaign 2, Episode 81
“You know the concept of gravity was first discovered by a Xhorhasian wizard known as Iz-aak Newton.” – Beau
Campaign 2, Episode 82
“But I would rather you put your faith in me for something more important than my curiosity. Let’s go the other way.” – Caleb
Campaign 2, Episode 83
“It’s better to have somebody’s word broken than to have no word at all.” – Caduceus
Campaign 2, Episode 84
Bonus
“We will trust you if you tell us who the members of the Tal’Dorei Council are.” – Fjord
Campaign 2, Episode 85
“I could be her beacon.” – Beau
Campaign 2, Episode 86
“Yes, I think we have a job to finish.” – Yasha
Campaign 2, Episode 87
“Can I get a hug?” – Caduceus
Campaign 2, Episode 88
“It’s entirely off-putting how disarmingly charming you are. I genuinely do not know how to react. Take that as a compliment.” – Martinet Ludinus Da’leth
Campaign 2, Episode 89
“Finish it, Champion.” – Yasha
Campaign 2, Episode 90
“Kill me.” – Sprinkle (Okay, it was actually Sam…)
Campaign 2, Episode 91
“I smell like a crayon.” – Yasha
Campaign 2, Episode 92
“Many fairy tales with an old crone in the woods.” – Caleb
Campaign 2, Episode 93
“Have you ever had a blueberry cupcake?” – Jester
Campaign 2, Episode 94
“Sto- Shut up Caleb! God fucking alright. Ignore the fucking undead, okay! Sorry, sorry.” – Beau
Campaign 2, Episode 95
“Nothing happens for a reason. It’s absolute fucking chaos.” – The Traveler
Campaign 2, Episode 96
“I’m asking you to open your heart to chaos.” – Jester
Campaign 2, Episode 97
“You were not born with venom in your veins.” – Caleb
Campaign 2, Episode 98
“Please. Please help me.” – Yasha
Bonus
Campaign 2, Episode 99
“Captain, we’re being followed by a tiny island.” – Caduceus
Campaign 2, Episode 100 – MAJOR SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 100
There you have it! 100+ out of context quotes to celebrate 100 episodes of adventuring with the Mighty Nein. Tune-in TONIGHT — Thursday, July 2nd at 7pm Pacific for Critical Role Campaign 2, Episode 100 on twitch.tv/criticalrole.
Share your own favorite Mighty Nein moments using the hashtag #MightyMemories on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.
Need to find a Critical Role quote or moment that’s been itching at the back of your brain? Critter Stuart Langridge (@sil) put together a website that makes episode transcripts searchable! It’s truly incredible and would have saved the writer of this article a lot of time had it come just the slightest bit sooner… Oh well — Check it out and find you favorite moments at https://kryogenix.org/crsearch.